Skip to content

Posts tagged ‘New Beginnings’

I’m Leaving

Photo by Peter Fazekas on Pexels.com

There are times in our life when we look back and clearly see the moment we stood at the edge of a new beginning. This was one of those moments for me.

“You’re leaving?” he said, as he sat by the window smoking.


“Yes, I’m sorry,” I replied from across the room.


“You’re sorry?” he sneered. “Sorry’s not good enough.”


“I know,” I said.

I sounded small and scared. I didn’t want to engage him. One wrong word and he would likely fly into a rage. He was volatile like nitroglycerin.


“You don’t love me?” he said.

His face crumpled and suddenly he looked small like a vulnerable child. I felt my resolve waver. I wanted to put my arms around him and tell him everything would be okay. But this was not the time for false promises.


I walked past him to leave, my heart pounding, my legs like jelly. He lifted his head to look at me and the face of a little boy was replaced with a look of stone-cold hatred.


“Show no fear, show no fear, show no fear” I repeated in my head. I walked to the door without looking back. I made it to my car, hand shaking as I turned the key in the ignition.


“Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm,” I silently repeated.


I kept my eye on the front door. He owns guns, he’s unstable and now he’s mad as hell.


I backed onto the road and put my car in gear. Fear took over and I sped away. I kept glancing in my rearview mirror terrified I would see him standing in the road tracking me through the crosshairs of his gun. The road was empty.

When there was enough distance between us I stopped checking my mirror. I took a deep breath and exhaled. I was fleeing the darkness and on my way to a new beginning.